Bandage Man

by Richard Stevenson

Bandage Man, Bandage Man,
gotta jump all the bumpers
in lovers’ lanes you can.

Scare the bejesus out of
the widest wide-end receiver.
Leave him simpering, pissing his knicks.

Drool lasciviously and give his girl
the heebie jeebies; they’ll both
be beggin’ you to take their car.

City ain’t far. Ditch the Chev.
Put on a zombie shuffle –
Heck, it’s Halloween. Who cares if yer seen?

Ring doorbells. Say, “Trick or Treat”
when folks open their doors.  It’s easy.
A couple of hours and you’ll have

all the junk food and chocolate
you and your kids could ever want or need.
The touch of the dripping blood is cool too.

Folks love a good victim story –
especially with good f/x, and close-ups:
dripping fangs, deep dark sockets, red eyes

and drool – don’t forget to really slaver
when you grunt and groan.  If no one’s home,
Just go on to the next house, start to moan…

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